starcline: 01/11/2016

Mnemosyne

While it was helpful for a while
To use you as a muse
and mould you into shapes
that really didn't suit
I find I no longer need
yourself to stir my brain
My imagination now works
Under its own auspices again
©cih16, 23:06, 30.11.16

With a nod to Carly Simon

You probably think
My writing's about you

But mostly
It's about me
©cih16, 20:55, 30.11.16

Shining

Anointed like some kind of sacrifice
Skin gleaming with unguents, oiled
Not an offering to an unrecognised deity
But an attempt to ward off a cold
©cih16, 22:00, 29.11.16

Neighbours

I listen as you sniff and cough,
shouting on your phone,
Stamping around the flat
I google 'How to hide a body'
and 'Is prison as bad as all that'
©cih16, 29.11.16

Saturday night on a dating app

The chat up lines get cornier
as men get drunker and hornier
©cih16, 22:35, 28.11.16

Edges

I don't think I knew I was an outsider
Didn't recognise I didn't belong
But as I spend time with you all
I can see I don't fit
in your lives

Apart
A partial person
A hole
Not a whole
©cih16, 15:24, 28.11.16

No claims bonus

I sit, alone, and listen
Unable to take part
As you discuss
the trials and tribulations
Pleasures and frustrations
Values of family life
I sit, alone, and listen
Enjoying reminiscences
Fleeting memories
Embarrassed winces
But I have nothing I can offer
No husband
No significant other
No claims on my life, my heart
©cih16, 23:19, 27.11.16

Image-ination

So I'd like to look feminine
Without all the effort
That the girls make on Instagram
With the contouring
and emphasising
I just want to be me
and for that to be enough
For someone to see me
- a woman
and love
©cih16, 09:01, 27.11.16

Reunion

Time for reminiscing
Those years missing
©cih16

Paint

Make up creating
Replacing
What Mother Nature missed
Mascara
Enhancing
Entrancing
Lipstick
encircled kiss
Inviting
Exciting
Cosmic
Cosmetic
Miss
©cih16, 23:47, 25.11.16

Reunion

Anticipation
Bags all packed
Ready for the off
A time of relaxation
To wind down
Recharge batteries...
Sneeze?
Cough?
©cih16, 22:00, 24.11.16

Christmas is coming

The official start of Christmas
Is the ringing of chiming tills
In shops open from September
until Midnight Christmas eve
Banners tell you to give, give, give
(In the Sales you shall receive)
©cih16, 22:14, 23.11.16

Punch

A boy
Not the bogeyman
A hand
Not a weapon
Yet fist
Meets skull
Body crumples
Lives change
©cih16, 8:46, 22.11.16

(after watching segment on BBC Breakfast on Restorative Justice)

Seasonal signs

Winter
Rasp
Blade cuts
Ice skater demonstrates skills

Wheeze
Cough
Winter cold
Numbed by handful of pills
©cih16, 22:33, 21.11.16

Advice

Anxiety crippling me, taking over
So go on, tell me I'm stupid
I always find that that helps
©cih16, 12:47, 20.11.16

Imaginary friends

Mourning the end of a relationship
That didn't exist
From the moment that our eyes didn't meet
To that final gutpunch last kiss
©cih16, 12:30, 20.11.16

Don't back down

Never apologise
Never admit
That you
Can do
Anything hurtful
When she attacks
With words
Don't you realise
Your silence
Is what scares her
Scars her?
©cih16, 10:50, 20.11.16

Battle

Battle of wills
of words
of vocabulary skills
Verbal hurts
©cih16, 10:47, 20.11.16

Gambling

Weather forecaster telsl of a small risk of showers
Looking outside
I see that all bets are off
©cih16, 8:50, 19.11.16

Weather watching

Rain chasing itself down the pane
©cih16, 8:47, 19.11.16

An (in)significant other

Through the chaos occurring daily
I wait to see
If you remember me
©cih16, 22:00, 17.11.16

Hunting

You give vague, absent minded affection
Less attention than you'd give to a pet
I want someone who loves me, wants me
But I haven't found him yet
©cih16, 11:12, 17.11.16

Other People's Thoughts

I've never known you to be consciously cruel
But sitting there listening
To that boy explaining
His selection of girls -
His rejection of girls
On the basis of photos
'Too flattering an angle'
(Translation - must be fat)
'Out with friends group shot'
(Translation - must be ugly)
I could only think
I'd rather be with you
©cih16, 22:22, 16.11.16

On the tube

Who thought it a good idea
To have a poster of a child with cancer
Next to a poster for a hair loss clinic
©cih16, 17:30, 16.11.16

The Match

Words fall like blows
Smash through the air
What once was a marriage
Now bloodied and raw
The once happy couple
No longer in love
Both hurting each other

Iron fist
Boxing glove
©cih16, 23:00, 15.11.16

Postman's Park, London

In the crowded moments
A place
Space
Time for your thoughts
Confused and sad
Time to read
Names and deeds
Time to reflect that
People aren't all bad
©cih16, 22:53, 14.11.16

http://www.postmanspark.org.uk/

At the War Memorial

Carved in unyielding stone
The names
Families, friends
England remembers its dead

Carved in living flesh
The scars
Mental, physical
England forgets its living
©cih16, 13.11.16

Crushed

Looking from the train
Paused at the station
I spy you
Sitting alone
Head bowed
Hands in lap
A moment of prayer?
Then
I see the phone
and your busy, busy fingers
The sudden grin
The game is won
©cih16, 11:03, 12.11.16

Remember

Those young soldiers
They gave their lives for you
Their health and youth and dreams
Hopes and loves and schemes
Poured into a muddy, bloody hole
©cih16, 23:33, 11.11.16

Hibernation

Not minus figures outside yet
Still I clutch my duvet close
My flat's turned into the freezer
But my bed's as warm as toast
©cih16, 22:37, 10.11.16

US Election

We watch
We wait
Count votes
Hesitate
With a phone call
One party
Concedes all
And a caricature
Takes power
©cih16, 9:27, 09.11.16

Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry*

Trying to sleep
after an argument
Easier said than done
When my mind revolves
around what I should have said
and the hundreds of things you've done wrong...

*(Ephesians 4:26)

©cih16, 22:22, 08.11.16

Watching television

Awake again
I start to deny
That my eyes were shut
And I'd begun to doze
But as I look across
At the other settee
You sit there
Dog in lap
Both asleep
Just like me
©cih16, 22:45, 07.11.16

Sad but true

Oblivious

Insomnia

Have you ever said something you wish that you hadn't
Told a secret that was not yours to keep
Opened Pandora's box
Which should have stayed locked

Those thoughts that won't let you sleep
©cih16, 05.11.16

Healing process

You carved our initials
Inside a heart
The tree lived
Our love didn't
We were equally scarred
The tree
and me
©cih16, 12:37, 05.11.16

Afterthought

I'm not saying that
I want to be
The first
In your life
above everybody
I'm too old for such dreams
Been stamped on by reality
But it would be nice
if you thought of me

Sometimes

Maybe

©cih16, 09:55, 04.11.16

Sycamore

It's worth knowing
When the wind is wild
and tears at the tree
Bending a bough
or breaking a branch
That the same breeze
Will spread the seeds
and make the helicopters dance
©cih16, 22:28, 03.11.16

Childhood games

And so I offered you the world
Full of mysteries, thoughts
The known and unknown
You looked at it,
said
"It's only a marble"
And into the gutter
We both were thrown
©cih16, 04:54, 02.11.16

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